wad am i feeling inside?
i dunno.
i feel so loved at one tym.
and feel so lost at another.
wads wrong wid damn me?
wad am i searching for?
wad do i crave for?
wad do i want?
i hv no answers to em qns.

a smile. but jus a smile.

u say u din lied.
but u dun hv any gud explanation for last nyt.
wtf is wrong wid u nwadays.
disappearing evry wkend. evry saturday.
nt answering my cals nor replying my sms.
ur stoopid logic aint satisfying. its stoopid.

jgn ar bt aku mcm aku ni bdk bodo.
skali kau lpas, kau jgn pkir kau bleh lpas lagi.
mmg kau licik. mmg kau pandai berputar belit kn crite.
aku dh pnat lah..
jgn mcm sial lah pls.

guys.
dey jus love to make a fool outta us.
n dey tink fooling us is sumting fun.
FUCK U!!!!!!

if u tink u cn get away wid it dis tym..
u farking wrong!
jus get lost!!

my hp died yesterday.
cudnt switch it bck on.
stoopid fooken hp.
so.. im uncontactable!
gd or bad?
hmm...
anyways, thos trying to get me but cudnt, sorry..
ok ok.. tht's all.
nk pi tdo ni.
ngantok dan penat giler!!
slamat mlm! gud nyt!
muah muah muah!!!

im tired. seriously tired.
been working on e posters for nxt wk's hs 2037 pesentatn.
e drawings done earlier which wud made my life so much easier today was gone few days bck
whch was y im so damn fooken tired nw.
had to draw, paint and paste dwn evrything on vgard.
fooken pnat sial!!
kpale bnyk saket. badan bnyk aching. aiyah! seme saket la...
aku nk tukar template ar..
template ni dh lame sesgt..
naik bosan aku melihatnye..
kn kn??

im tired.
im busy.
u got no tym?
so do i..

i stil love u.
hope u do too.

missing my baby too much.

happy valentine's day???
FUCK YOU!!
v day SUX!!!
u pathetic SUCKOS!!!!!!!!!!!

im gg out.
buat project.
so wil be bck later..

tonyt i seem to understand evryting nw.
evryting seemed clear nw.
he din want me anymore.
and he din even bother anymore.

yeah..
we are we no more.
its jus me nw. jus me.
he brushed me off jus like tht.
like its not wrong to hurt a gerl's feeling.
hai...

im utterly disappted. upset.
and ashamed of myself for not listening.
but wad do i get nw for regretting?
exactly. nothing.

dis i blive, must be karma...

was told he was sick last nyt while out at satay club.
ok so i din wana disturb. let him rest.
called wen i reached hm. but..
he was outside, withdrawing money..
and.. he sound healthy.
healthy giler babi.
was told he wud cal bck wen reach hm
cz he needs to carry brg2 all. so ok.
but he nvr called til ard 1am.
so i dialled his mobile no..
ngaged.. number busy.. no answer.
dialled again. (on e verge of giving up)
dere was an answer but no one speak.
but.. e bckgrd noise.
was he in a club, clubbing??
dat sends chills dwn my body. i went silent for a while.
tried calling again. but dere was no answer.
i gav up. on calling. and on him.
i asked fer a break up.
and i gues he agreed.
cz dere was nothing frm him. til nw.
oh well....
is dis life??

manis kata-kata..
hanyalah di bibir saja.
tidak pasti dihati.
mungkin sebaliknya.

kata-kata janji..
bisa dimungkir..
dan dilupakan..
dalam sekelip mata.

pabila tidak diinginkan lagi..
ada saja alasan yg kau cari..
utk melarikan diri..
dan lepas dari perhubungan ini.

buruk sangatkah perhubungan kita ini..
sehinggakan kau sanggup berbuat seperti ini.
meninggalkan diriku..
tanpa sebab yg tentu.

sungguh tidak adil hidup ini..
melemparkan kekecewaan dan keseksaan.
di saat aku terlalu menyintakan nya..
dia berubah rasa dan haluan.

apakah salahku...
di manakah kesilapanku...
mengapa kau melangkah pergi..
dan tidak kembali lagi.

tk mungkin ini semua..
kerna aku tk setia.
dan tk mungkin ini semua..
kerna aku tidak cinta.

setelah kau meninggalkan aku..
rasa rindu terpacak di dadaku.
setiap hari setiap malam..
menantikan panggilanmu.
walau aku tahu..
ianya tidak akan berlaku.

kini aku mengerti..
kau tak perlukan aku lagi.
apalah gunanya diriku..
utk menantikan dirimu.

mungkin kini kau telah melupakanku.
melupakanku utk selamanya.
tetapi aku ingin kau tahu..
betapa ku menyayangimu..
semenjak dahulu lagi..
dan sehingga kini..

ku kan tetap mencintaimu.

gues wad?
aku kenyang giler babi!!!!!!!!!
dh mcm babi ni pon... senak sak!!
kita olang makan busar loh hali ini..
manyak busar punya!!
muahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we went satay club tonyt..
and....
ate and
ate and
ate and
ate.
keep filling our tummies to its fullest!!
gerek beb!
dh mkn dh kenyang giler kan......
pastu balek jalan kaki!
konon nk exercise lah ckit sebyk..
haha...
semangat!!!

jln pny jln...
ktawe pny ktawe...
bobal pny bobal...
tk prasan tym dh kul 11 lebih pm...
dh mlm2 bute jln2 ktawe2 mcm org gile..
ader ke?? tsk tsk tsk....
tk btol anak beranak ni tau..
hahah!!!

tapi....
gerek sey!!
tgk pokok..
tgk patong..
tgk apek kacang... @ chong pang.
haha!! asal bole je bapak aku ni tau..
pandai je buat crite...

anyways.. my nyte was wonderful.
and for e first tym after soooooo long...
i had a great nyt wid my parents, my family.
after soooo long...
i was able to go out again w/o any corrupted thots..
w/o any worries..
jus smile, laugh and be happy..
happee giler babi nye mlm ni!!
best!!!!!!

NK LAGI!!!!!!!!!
bole?
*hee*

guys.
hav dey gone upside dwn?
hev dey gone 'pagal'?
no? yes?
kalau no asal dorg nk jadi cam pompan plak kan?
mesti dh tk btol ni...
ader yg dh minat dgn brg2 make up pompan lah..
ader yg cukor kening beb!!
korg bayangkan lah..
ishk ishk ishk...
dunia dunia...
pape lah..

laki aku saket..
aku pon boring..
jadi boring2 ni, blog lah..
nothing much to say..
except...
im farking broke!!
tgl 20 bucks je dlm bank!!
nk survive cmne ni....
haiyoh!!

im hm!! @ ard 3 plus pm.
yeah yeah..
so today's e 8th of feb.
man and me anni for 1yr 2mths.
but..
he's nt comng bck. so...
its nt so xciting for me lah.
tgh boring ni..
tsk..

im bored. a lil disappted.
plus!
my whole body's aching for no farking reason.
tho my head's getting better, it stil seem like e wrld's spinning!
FARK!!

oh oh...
btw, our grp presentation today was excellent!
(as commented & complimented by mdm chye, mind u!)
oops.. and sorry guys.
i messed up my script! hahah!!
bodo. mcm paham jek aku ni kn..
suro ckp, tnk ckp..
kuang kuang kuang!

so many things needed to be done.

1. leadership short essay assignment due dis friday!
2. dengue presentation due nxt 2 wks!
3. colon cancer presentation due nxt 2 wks!
4. patient education on diabetes due few wks to come!

ArGhHHhH!! aku bleh jadi gile siol!

ohh damn shit.
this farking migraine jus wun get lost.
it jus wun go. damn it.
e whole wrld's spinning ryt dis minute.
evry single tym i come online, i get it bad.
FARK!!!

ok skool..
was ok. sheila didnt come skool.
so only iffa and me and e rest of e class.
tmrw's our presentation.
oh shit!!
i jus rmmbrd i need to bring my uniform tmrw..
ah damn leceh man! tsk!
tu nnti bleh bikin lah..

ohh damn!
i jus remembered tmrw's my 1yr 2mths anni wid my boo..
tapi kite gado plak.. bodo btol!!
korg nk tau gado sal ape??
nk tau? btol nk tau??
sal mak aku ckp die gmok and played ard daying he's fat.
abes die mengamok. mara aku seme..
ape sey?!!
bkn aku yg suro mak aku joke gtu ape..
seme salah aku.. ape sey..
ahh!! tkpe lah..
dari tadi satu ari die asek nk salah aku tudo je.
aku tk mara, die kate aku mara..
aku bobal baik2, die kate aku tk bobal baik2..
aku try dtop mak aku, die kate aku tkleh bt pape utk die..
ape lar ni seme.. saket ati, saket jantung sey..
haiyah!!

k ar..
smpai sini lar jelah k.
kpale ku maseh pning gile babi ni.
tklah angkat..
sak tol!!

hai..
aku tk tau lah ape nk jadi dgn aku & dier..
kejap gado..
kejap ok..
ari ni happy, luving..
bsk gado, kuang aja dgn each otha.
aku penat lah..
pening kepale ni aku skrg.
tsk tsk tsk...

i had sch today @ 8am!
i forced myself up cuz i was having a terrible migraine.
damn!!
my head was spinning all day long in sch.
tired, sick and sleepy. all in all..
my day in sch.. SUX!! big tym.

im gonna crash real soon.
e more i blog.. e more worst it bcomes.
fuck. shito.
i need to lie dwn..
sch's @ 1000hrs tmrw.
and im gonna sleep til 8am tmrw.
cnt tahan aredy!!!!!
mcm ada mau pengsan ah!!

adios!!

ok ok..
a few things.

one..
my mum's nt mad at me anymore!
as e saying goes..
"mara seorg ibu kpd anak nye tkkan lame".
and true enuf..
a lil hug, a lil kiss and mum falls bck into my love.
ahaha!!
i love her sooo!!

ok ok..

two..
tomoro nigel's organising a party @ chinablack!!
gerek sey!!
i wana go but i've nvr been to a club before..
sooo if go alone cam paisey kn..
but i tk reti pulak clubbing ni seme..
alah... den hw eh??
boooorriiinnng......

third..
bsk......
aku nk klua!!
aku nk klua!!! aku nk klua!!!
sesape nk klua ajak aku eh...
aku bosan!! aku nk klua!!!!!

i tink i hurt my mum.
her feelings i mean.
i jus gt bck hm frm skul.
tired, shag and all.
den she asked me out to cozwap pt.
of cz i get angry, ryte?
so i accidentally raised my voice at her.
and nw she's in her rm nt comng out.
damn.

alah..
sorry lah umi..
ampun eh..
*hee*

god.
mum & dad.
family.
friends. best friends.
e past..
dat made me who i am
today. and..
the present.

ais. 21.
live to love
& to be loved.
v simple lady.
nvr asks for anything.
jus happiness.
life so far is just good.

nurul
ibnu
din
aza
syaz
baizurah
Su
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alberto
nurayyan
meiyi
mel
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